Saturday, September 12, 2015

Until the world goes cold..

No matter how many times we have acknowledged the fact that we have good friends and family around us. There will always be circumstances where it puts us in a position where we feel alone. Where we feel that we have to endure and face our demons in hopes that we can remain 'cleansed' in the end.

I think there's a beautifiul duality about adulthood. You get to experience the pleasures in life which can be ecstatic, but the hardships that get in the way as well.
The more I start to understand about the world, the more painful things become. But it's not good to remain ignorant and in denial towards the world. Probably because if we keep being ignorant, the pain would probably be greater when life hits us hard and our world comes crashing down.
I think this is why I miss my father dearly. The alone time and talks about life never seems to get old. Whenever I have a problem or a doubt, he was always there to give me suggestions in which I can trust and experiment on my own. He was more than a father to me, he was also a brother I never had.
Whenever each month starts on it's first week, I can't help but think of all the good times we spent and done during that month of any particular year. And I believe each of those moments hold certain value and has taught and groomed me to be the person I am today.

With any decision I have made currently, I'll always wonder as to how Papa would have handled it. The world becomes scary as I have to face the world under my own terms. People with their ideals and me trying to apply the 'tools' I have to my advantage to get through in life.
What is 'Right' or 'Wrong' in the end? I feel as I grow older, that question becomes a question of 'Perception'. I may live under my own terms, but I also need to hear out from others. I may break, but I refuse to, because of pride. I also NEED to break because I need to release my demons before they start to consume me.

I think what makes a man a Man are the scars that are left on us, reminds us to do better and try our best not to fall. Some people have talent to breeze through life, some have to work hard to get stronger to endure difficulty. I think this is where 'Gratitude' is hugely important.

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