Monday, February 23, 2015



 "Go through the mill" they say. A reminder to myself that there will be more challenging obstacles ahead compared to what I'm facing now. I must press on. I recently worked on Location Audio for a short film for Malaysian Airlines together with an ex-colleague of mine from AddAudio, Wandi (Who's now a freelance Audio Engineer as well).
It was quite refreshing to see that both of us have similar years of experience and to work together for the first time in 3 years as freelancers brings back the working nostalgia. The only difference is, we're more familiar in what we do, which makes the workflow of things so much smoother. Always a good thing.

The title of the short film was called "Blessings". A short film in conjunction with Chinese New Year, is about a man who loves chasing wealth and ambition so much that he forgets that true blessings come from appreciating the people (Family and friends) that matter and make our lives richer.

It was a tiring but fun two-day shoot. The casts and crew were great. Directed by Hisham Saleh & Linus Chung. As well as Linus' brother Aaron Chung, who's the DP.

In the crew, there was a 'Behind The Scenes' guy, who shoots the overall production activity as well as interviewing the Casts and Crew themselves. When I was being interviewed, I was asked this ,"What does 'Blessing' mean to you?".

For some odd reason, I choked and froze in front of the camera. And thought back of the recent events that's happened to the Cheah's for the past couple of months, I can only say so much:

Blessings to some people can be about wealth, health and what have you. Which is fine. At the end of the day, you know you appreciate the things that you have around you. To fit in my own definition of A 'Blessing' according to how I live my life, I would say that "Suffer" is part of the blessings that I keep. Why? If I did not go through a certain difficult phase, I don't think I would grow stronger than I did before. And that would be my source of strength to move on in Life.

I think that's as truthful as I can get with that interview than to just leave 'flowery' stuff in there. And this would be the first Chinese New Year without Papa. Being an Atheist and not conform to a conventional religion, it does leave a stigma of the 'No framework of the afterlife'. Basically means when I die, I'll be as good as decomposed 'dirt'. Do I miss my parents? Yes I do. Do I believe in A God? I will know when I've passed on. At this point, I just can't bring myself to agree with the dogma of mainstream religions.

But the one thing that I'll miss the most is the physical presence of my parents. To me, that is as real as it gets. The values and lessons that have been passed down to me are the things that will keep them alive in my head. The path to take in Life is really a mysterious thing. I can't find out further unless I keep moving forward in order for things to unfold. 

And with those obstacles ahead, I'll suffer till I make it. And I think that's a wonderful thing. Life IS unfair depending on how one sees it. But I think it depends on how we manage it ourselves in the end. How sure are we that the things we do and the decisions we make are Right or Wrong? I think there's no simple answer to that. Because we humans tend to justify one another of our actions, religious person or not.

I think as long as we learn from our mistakes and fix them, we can move forward. To my parents and sister, you guys are part of my greatest Blessings. Gong Hei Fatt Choi.

Saturday, January 03, 2015

Forsake not the dream

It's quite interesting how Life goes for each and every one of us. And probably most (or perhaps all) of us never seem to be contented with everything because we tend to either strive for the better things in Life, or hide in a 'cave' and mope about how shitty our Life is.

Probably because there are people in society who rub their wealth and fortune onto our faces and put us down. Those of us who are affected by such treatment tend to have our self-esteem being declined. But some of us DO take that Envy of others and turn it into Anger to drive ourselves into striving even harder to be successful in Life. I'm not saying it's an easy thing to ain't. As cliche as it may sound, in the end, we have to find our own niche in Life and THAT is not impossible.

In public, I bet most of us watch the world go round and witness happy people who act like they've got everything going well for them and we tend to say to ourselves ,"Hey, I want that person's life. So ideal. *While looking at ourselves in a bit of disgust*". Most of us probably had thoughts about committing suicide because we think we're not worth living on this Earth. Why is that? Is it social pressure from peers that put us down and brag about how well they're doing in Life because of the right choices they've made in Life? Or maybe it's because we're not happy with our family background which makes us feel displaced around people who are pretty much well off?

As I'm writing this, I'd like you Readers to know that I am facing a struggle which I'm sure does not make me the only one. But up to this day, I refuse to admit defeat (Even if it kills me). 2014 was indeed a horrible year for me, but I found that to be a form of blessing as I'm trying my best to overcome situations that pulled me down so hard that I wanted to give up everything. I guess that's what makes us human, doesn't it? I should learn how to dust and pick myself up, no matter how hard the fall can be.

I guess it takes a very hard blow (and a knock on the head) for us to get even stronger each day. It's just a matter of how bad we want good things to happen. Having said that, I think mixing with very good company does help a lot. Not only mix with positive people, but with skeptical people who care enough to suggest us options that we can tailor-make ourselves to go about Life and make decisions that would land us in a proper position. 

I remember driving myself and dad to mamak for supper one night and I asked him this ,"Pa, when you were alone in KL and never knew many people then, how did you know you were going to make it in Life despite not having many 'roads' to take at the time?".

He told me ,"Son, if a beggar could survive out in the streets, I believe I can do so much better than that!".

Those wise words really stuck with me till today, which I'm grateful. But to have the loss of both parents is something I'll have to cope with at my own pace as I go on with Life. As much as I appreciate the people around me who have been giving me a kick in the ass to perk me up, I guess Time will help heal these wounds for the most part. I am my own man, I'll handle it as best as I can. I've seen and felt pain & suffering enough times for me to finally grow tired of wanting to give up this Life. No matter the suffering, not like it was the first time. Time to surround myself with friends, family and peers who care for me.

Sunday, June 22, 2014


Turning 24 in less than 4 hours. The age where I have yet another year till I'd be in my mid-20's. Age is just a number they say, but I feel that age is in some ways significant in terms of reflecting on what you've done/accomplished in Life. Probably because we want to do amazing things before we're unable to do it at a certain age.

 Some of us take it very seriously, while some of us tend to not worry and cruise in Life in order to take our time to reach the goals we want to achieve them. It all boils down to how badly we want to achieve our goals. In the end, everyone has their own ways of going about in their Life.

In a way, I'm questioning my own successes. Yes, I've done quite a number of good projects that's got me where I am today in my career. But it's never enough for me. It always feels I'm still at Level 1. It's pretty much a 'Mindf*ck' thing, because of that hunger to succeed even more in my career but still feels like 'dope'. But I guess that's how people grow in their own careers. They never settle for anything stagnant or less, they strive for more and be higher even if it discourages them badly in the process.

Does one really have to be confident in his own abilities to get what he wants or humble down and see where he needs improve (a lot) in order to be stronger and receive higher chances at getting what he wants?

Maybe it's all about accepting this thing called 'Growth'. Mentally and Physically of our whole well-being. It can be painful. But hey, who doesn't feel pain?

For me personally, I want to; travel the world. Earn loads of money at such an early age. Be able to be more capable of a man I'm supposed to be and etc.

But there's this 'little boy' inside me that tells me that I'm a tad too old and a little late in achieving certain goals. I will strife with that.

This is me. And this note will be a reminder and a Happy Birthday to myself.

Monday, November 04, 2013


The lack of ideas on what to write on this blog, could've been one of the main reasons why I've not written a post in such a long time. But I'll digress anyways.

I can say that many things have happened in the past 1 1/2 years since my hiatus (I actually wanted to quit Blogging) from Blogging. Probably because, we can now express our emotions or rantings through 'Facebook Status' posts. Which can be pretty convenient, but never really in detail. Which only leaves certain 'clueless' people on our 'Friends' list to 'Like' it, or 'Comment' on whatever they may not truly understand. It gets frustrating sometimes, but what can we expect from them? Read our minds? Absolutely not. Which is probably one of the reasons why I've come back to revive this Blog.

For people who used to frequent my blog, it's no surprise that you'd find me writing anything dark (sort of) or skeptical, depending on what I've experienced in Life. Though I'm 110% sure, that I'm not the only one.

For the potential new readers of this blog (If any of you would give a damn), don't get me wrong just yet, I love to write about 'Happy' things as well (Is that convincing enough for you?).

So yeah, I'm sure you've been wondering what I've been up to, for the past 1 1/2 years. I'll just write the 'Highlights' on what happened between 2012 and 2013. I guess it'll be easier to write in 'Point Form' for the potential new readers (If they give a damn).

I resigned from 'AddAudio' in April to become a Freelancer.

I've gotten a lot more jobs and experiences ever since I left 'AddAudio'.

Becoming a Freelancer with the right initiation has allowed me to make more money and to be able to financially support myself in most of areas of 'Necessity' and 'Desire'.

Trying out new food is now part of my passion.

Almost got a girlfriend (Damn it, forever alone).

Managed to expand my network in the Freelancing world, which opened doors for me to work with some well known Directors in the local film industry. Still need to continue to expand.

Worked on 'Sound' for a film in Japan.
Managed to catch Megadeth 'Live in Singapore' for the first time in August.


Formed a new 'Death Metal' band with some friends. (I'll post up some SoundCloud links soon)

From Film, I started working on Post-Pro Audio for Corporate and Promotional videos.

Casted my vote for General Elections (GE-13) for the very first time.

Got my company 'Static Waves Productions' registered in July.

Gave up drinking Alcohol.

Had the pleasure to work with Film Maker, James Lee on a short film called 'Three Doors of Horrors',  in conjunction with the 'Hungry Ghost Festival' for Youtube. The short film managed to gain
200,000 over 'Views' in 2 months.

Currently working on four projects in line, expected to be done by March of next year.

Well, this wraps up my post for now. Till then. See you...

Monday, March 26, 2012


It's that time again, where I've outgrown certain antics, or maybe learned how to mask them along the course of my life. Maybe this was what I've really wanted to accomplish as this Year's resolution? To grow up and keep walking in this Life, despite the unexpected badness that comes in my way. Like a Snake, shedding it's old skin and then comes a new one.

Would this conclude the end of my selfish, doubtful, angry self? I dunno, I guess those traits activate themselves quite effectively, depending how bad the situations are. I know that these things would come whenever someone tries to fuck me up (in an unjustified way of course). You know who you are. But can I allow myself to eat into it just to feel good? I guess I can't do it forever. I'll never be happy that way.

But, I myself know that I can't take peoples' nonsense forever. And need to learn how to handle my current situations accordingly. Whether it's an issue with; Some peers within my social circle, people owing me money and etc.

Sometimes I even wonder whether bringing up a bad issue to a friend can lead to a big argument. Or would it help set myself free from stress and depression and hopefully a friend would help give me a sound advice. Probably under the circumstances. But I will promise myself this, I will not let anyone simply push me around and fuck around with me. I need to be stronger than that. I really hope to be that way. Probably, if I acquire such values..I may be able to survive in Life.

I realized that there is no cure for 'Hardship'. Only 'Endurance' towards it. For a lifetime. I may not have everything I want, but I'll learn how to appreciate of what I have and work towards more things I want in life. I guess, that knocked me on the head, after months of deep thinking about my future.

Does one wait for the 'Light' to shine onto the right path to be able walk on, or does it 'Shine' on the right path, only if one seeks for it badly enough? I guess, hardwork and a little bit of Luck DOES go a long way.

And I'm still sitting here, juggling my thoughts;

-I'm 22 this year and I need to work my way up while I'm still young.
-I don't need to change the whole 'Me', but to improve 'Me'.
-As I get older, I'm auto-pilot towards a life where I need to build things solely by myself

(a) But towards that, I guess I need good friends to go along with, in order to be successful.

-Whoever is better than me in my field of Interest or Work, I should gain more and do my best than to focus on just being 'Better' than them.

But I cannot claim that I'm the only one thinking this through, I bet lots of people are thinking about it, probably worse...maybe for 24/7 without stop. Must be stressful...

And I probably shouldn't be so bothered with people's negative remarks about me, but to look myself in the mirror to see whether the issue is with me or themselves...

I must CHANGE!

This song by Incubus probably was the one that inspired me to open up and write this post. Thank you for the music, Brandon Boyd.


I'm feeling out of bounds, out of bounds
I'm running out of time, out of time
I know there's no such thing as either of them
But it doesn't make me feel any better

Out of sight, out of mind
Out of sight, out of mind
We're out of time
We're out of mind
Out of mind
Out of mind
Yeah, yeah

I’m feeling overwhelmed, overwhelmed
It’s getting out of line, line, line
I know I’m not alone
Just adolescents, you and I
It doesn’t make me feel any better

Out of sight, out of mind
Out of sight, out of mind
We're out of time
We're out of mind
Out of mind
Out of mind
Yeah, yeah
Out of sight, out of mind
Out of sight, out of mind
We're out of time
We're out of mind
Out of mind
Out of mind
We're out of mind

Monday, December 19, 2011

Was it worth it?

My obsession with Heavy Metal started when I was 15. Before that, I only knew of 'Nu-Metal', which most Metalheads do not consider that particular Sub-Genre, 'Metal'. A few friends of mine then introduced me to the world of; 'Metalcore, Thrash Metal, Speed Metal, Death Metal, Black Metal '.....and the list goes on....

Later in my Teenage years, I took up the Electric Guitar and started learning how to play it. And of course, most of us aspiring guitar players would want to be as good as our guitar heroes. One of my heroes were; Joe Satriani, Paul Gilbert, Matt Heafy, Gary Moore (RIP), Dimebag Darrel (RIP) and the list goes on.

Call me bias, but there is one guitar hero that I find very unique in the Heavy Metal scene...his name is Alexi Laiho. Lead guitarist and vocalist of the band, Children Of Bodom. Why? Maybe in a musical sense, his innovative melodies, monstrous riffs and hooks would most of the time give me the ecstatic sensation of potential 'Eargasms'. Along with his badass yell, "Yeow!" at the intro on a lot of COB's songs. You just knew that hell would break loose in a COB track (in a good way).

In a technical sense, his guitar playing according to a lot of people (including myself) find it very impressive.

To guitar players: How many guitar players that you know, could play very fluid sounding arpeggio sweeps by using a Bridge pickup instead of a neck? I mean, you don't see Paul Gilbert or Joe Satriani switching to their bridge pickups to sweep. Don't get me wrong, both of them are indeed 'Guitar Masters' in their own right. I'm just stating what makes Alexi Laiho, the kind of guitarist that stands out in his own right. There are others who can Sweep with a bridge pickup as good or perhaps, better than Him. But the main focus would be Alexi in this post. Besides that, Alexi just knows how to use the Floating a boss. If you've not watched his videos (which I'll load up later in this post), please do.

And so, it was on the 15th of November. I was on the Train at night, on my way to the 'Lion City'. And you would have guessed it....Children Of Bodom was going to perform live in Singapore, 2 days later. That was the whole purpose of this trip. As thrilled as I was, I just knew it was going to be a good show. And that proved pretty well on the day of the Concert. From the time, 'COB' came on stage, breaking through the flooding smoke on stage. And then, the mayhem had started...the band started performing what they do best....Heavy "F*cking" Metal..

From explosive riffs, to blistering solos. COB had defined themselves as a band with 'Attitude'. Which had set an impression on me and the 'Hate Crew' (Fans) to be the best 1 1/2 hours spent this year....I believe so...

Meeting and greeting the band was a plus point for me as I was fortunate enough to meet them in person. The ecstatic feeling of being able to meet my idols has never been this awesome. A moment to be cherished, as a 'Metal Head'. Was it worth it? Hell yes it was!

-Alexi Laiho and Janne Warman-

-Meet & Greet session with COB-

Monday, September 26, 2011

From a deep thought...

Staying alive and well. Despite the hardships that left me to endure, and the bitterness that I've been encountering numerous times by people during the recent months. I must say, that was indeed tough. But that would not stop me from thinking that there will be more tough challenges in the near future.

This was what got me thinking for the past week:

I just don't understand, as to why some bastards love to abuse and mistreat people, attempting to make them lose their sanity and later..rot in the ground. They should learn to keep it to themselves and learn to see 'Black & white'. I don't see why they should always need to give the 'Cold shoulder' whenever they have the chance....stressful. Of course, those who are victims of that treatment would wonder; Are these people not happy with their lives? Do they hunger for 'Authority' to feel much superior? Or maybe these people are just inferior of what they are in general?

Should the mistreated give these people the 'Don't f*ck around with me' attitude an option? Or should we stay silent and walkaway like the typical Chinese school boy/girl mentality that we CAN be? *no offence to Chinese school educated people here*. As much as you may think that it's easy for me to conjure and convey these kind of messages, it also makes me ponder sometimes about my writing just for the sake of thinking out loud. I'm human too, come on :P . Anyways, I'll continue.....

Someone told me this once, quite a while back,"Endure the shit you get from people. Sooner or later, they'll appreciate your tolerance for their displeasure. And they'll treat you better on the long run."

Sorry, I've done that a long time ago and it doesn't work. I guess Phil Anselmo (Pantera) was right from the phrase of their song 'Domination' regarding these 'Animals'

"Agony is the price

That you'll pay in the end

Domination consumes you

Then calls you a friend

It's a twisted fall"

Always...ALWAYS! Watch your back as much as you can. Even though you would passively get abused by these 'Animals', don't let it reach at the dangerous peak point of 'Havoc'. If it goes out of hand, you have the option of telling them,"Leave me the F*ck alone!."