"Go through the mill" they say. A reminder to myself that there will be more challenging obstacles ahead compared to what I'm facing now. I must press on. I recently worked on Location Audio for a short film for Malaysian Airlines together with an ex-colleague of mine from AddAudio, Wandi (Who's now a freelance Audio Engineer as well).
It was quite refreshing to see that both of us have similar years of experience and to work together for the first time in 3 years as freelancers brings back the working nostalgia. The only difference is, we're more familiar in what we do, which makes the workflow of things so much smoother. Always a good thing.
The title of the short film was called "Blessings". A short film in conjunction with Chinese New Year, is about a man who loves chasing wealth and ambition so much that he forgets that true blessings come from appreciating the people (Family and friends) that matter and make our lives richer.
It was a tiring but fun two-day shoot. The casts and crew were great. Directed by Hisham Saleh & Linus Chung. As well as Linus' brother Aaron Chung, who's the DP.
In the crew, there was a 'Behind The Scenes' guy, who shoots the overall production activity as well as interviewing the Casts and Crew themselves. When I was being interviewed, I was asked this ,"What does 'Blessing' mean to you?".
For some odd reason, I choked and froze in front of the camera. And thought back of the recent events that's happened to the Cheah's for the past couple of months, I can only say so much:
Blessings to some people can be about wealth, health and what have you. Which is fine. At the end of the day, you know you appreciate the things that you have around you. To fit in my own definition of A 'Blessing' according to how I live my life, I would say that "Suffer" is part of the blessings that I keep. Why? If I did not go through a certain difficult phase, I don't think I would grow stronger than I did before. And that would be my source of strength to move on in Life.
I think that's as truthful as I can get with that interview than to just leave 'flowery' stuff in there. And this would be the first Chinese New Year without Papa. Being an Atheist and not conform to a conventional religion, it does leave a stigma of the 'No framework of the afterlife'. Basically means when I die, I'll be as good as decomposed 'dirt'. Do I miss my parents? Yes I do. Do I believe in A God? I will know when I've passed on. At this point, I just can't bring myself to agree with the dogma of mainstream religions.
But the one thing that I'll miss the most is the physical presence of my parents. To me, that is as real as it gets. The values and lessons that have been passed down to me are the things that will keep them alive in my head. The path to take in Life is really a mysterious thing. I can't find out further unless I keep moving forward in order for things to unfold.
And with those obstacles ahead, I'll suffer till I make it. And I think that's a wonderful thing. Life IS unfair depending on how one sees it. But I think it depends on how we manage it ourselves in the end. How sure are we that the things we do and the decisions we make are Right or Wrong? I think there's no simple answer to that. Because we humans tend to justify one another of our actions, religious person or not.
I think as long as we learn from our mistakes and fix them, we can move forward. To my parents and sister, you guys are part of my greatest Blessings. Gong Hei Fatt Choi.