Monday, March 26, 2012

Change?

It's that time again, where I've outgrown certain antics, or maybe learned how to mask them along the course of my life. Maybe this was what I've really wanted to accomplish as this Year's resolution? To grow up and keep walking in this Life, despite the unexpected badness that comes in my way. Like a Snake, shedding it's old skin and then comes a new one.

Would this conclude the end of my selfish, doubtful, angry self? I dunno, I guess those traits activate themselves quite effectively, depending how bad the situations are. I know that these things would come whenever someone tries to fuck me up (in an unjustified way of course). You know who you are. But can I allow myself to eat into it just to feel good? I guess I can't do it forever. I'll never be happy that way.

But, I myself know that I can't take peoples' nonsense forever. And need to learn how to handle my current situations accordingly. Whether it's an issue with; Some peers within my social circle, people owing me money and etc.

Sometimes I even wonder whether bringing up a bad issue to a friend can lead to a big argument. Or would it help set myself free from stress and depression and hopefully a friend would help give me a sound advice. Probably under the circumstances. But I will promise myself this, I will not let anyone simply push me around and fuck around with me. I need to be stronger than that. I really hope to be that way. Probably, if I acquire such values..I may be able to survive in Life.

I realized that there is no cure for 'Hardship'. Only 'Endurance' towards it. For a lifetime. I may not have everything I want, but I'll learn how to appreciate of what I have and work towards more things I want in life. I guess, that knocked me on the head, after months of deep thinking about my future.

Does one wait for the 'Light' to shine onto the right path to be able walk on, or does it 'Shine' on the right path, only if one seeks for it badly enough? I guess, hardwork and a little bit of Luck DOES go a long way.

And I'm still sitting here, juggling my thoughts;

-I'm 22 this year and I need to work my way up while I'm still young.
-I don't need to change the whole 'Me', but to improve 'Me'.
-As I get older, I'm auto-pilot towards a life where I need to build things solely by myself

(a) But towards that, I guess I need good friends to go along with, in order to be successful.

-Whoever is better than me in my field of Interest or Work, I should gain more and do my best than to focus on just being 'Better' than them.


But I cannot claim that I'm the only one thinking this through, I bet lots of people are thinking about it, probably worse...maybe for 24/7 without stop. Must be stressful...

And I probably shouldn't be so bothered with people's negative remarks about me, but to look myself in the mirror to see whether the issue is with me or themselves...

I must CHANGE!

This song by Incubus probably was the one that inspired me to open up and write this post. Thank you for the music, Brandon Boyd.



"Adolescents"

I'm feeling out of bounds, out of bounds
I'm running out of time, out of time
I know there's no such thing as either of them
But it doesn't make me feel any better

Out of sight, out of mind
Out of sight, out of mind
We're out of time
We're out of mind
Out of mind
Out of mind
Yeah, yeah

I’m feeling overwhelmed, overwhelmed
It’s getting out of line, line, line
I know I’m not alone
Just adolescents, you and I
It doesn’t make me feel any better

Out of sight, out of mind
Out of sight, out of mind
We're out of time
We're out of mind
Out of mind
Out of mind
Yeah, yeah
Out of sight, out of mind
Out of sight, out of mind
We're out of time
We're out of mind
Out of mind
Out of mind
We're out of mind
Yeah