Saturday, September 11, 2010

One steep step at a time..

It's been a while since I've posted something here. Well, my bumming days are over and I'm now working. I have no complaints that I won't be able to laze around because I'm doing something that I love. I'm working as a Sound Editor/Mixing Engineer/etc for a company which I would not state due to some reasons.

On the first day of work, I was pretty stoked for the reason that I finally got a career that I could start building upon and hopefully to be able to bring my mixing and recording skills to the next level. Thus, me being new to the company made me realize that I have to work hard to be as good as the Sound Engineers in the Company.

Surprisingly, I found the company a very nice place to work in; great environment, friendly colleagues and nice facilities. My mentor on the job is a pretty outgoing guy, but I'm trying my best to learn from him on what he does best on the production side of things. I have a long way ahead of me before I could become a great Sound Engineer. Competitive? Yes! Intimidated? Hopefully not. But optimum anxiety might just come in handy for me to perform well in this job. Time to 'Focus'!

Being able to operate on the mixing board and software during work kinda made me feel happy, because it's the kind of work that I might end up doing for the rest of my life. Meanwhile, I'm trying my best to also improve on my musicianship with my upcoming band. Man, lyric writing can be such a pain in the ***, just by finding the right words to fit into the meaning and tune.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Torn Between Nemesis and Lethe (2)


In Greek mythology, Lethe (Λήθη; Classical Greek [ˈlɛːtʰɛː], modern Greek: [ˈliθi]) was one of the five rivers of Hades. Also known as the Ameles potamos (river of unmindfulness), the Lethe flowed around the cave of Hypnos and through the Underworld, where all those who drank from it experienced complete forgetfulness. Lethe was also the name of the Greek spirit of forgetfulness and oblivion, with whom the river was often identified.

In Classical Greek, the word Lethe literally means "oblivion," "forgetfulness," or "concealment". It is related to the Greek word for "truth", aletheia (αλήθεια), meaning "un-forgetfulness" or "un-concealment".

by Wikipedia.

The post relates to an old classmate back in Secondary school. We were quite close for a couple number of years even after she left for England after form 1. And then, came back in form 3. We suddenly bumped into each other at a tuition center I was attending and we were in the same Economics and Math class. Technically, we were really best friends.

For short, after starting college..she and I kept less in contact due to our busy schedule. A year later, I tried to keep in contact with her. When I sent her a chat message when she was online. She ended asking me who I was and asking whether she knows me or not. I then tried to remind who I was, and adding on details like; She and I were classmates and were really close.

Unfortunately, she replied,"Sorry, I do not remember you nor do I know. I got too many friends"

That reply was indeed pretty saddening, but it's a shame she could forget. Could she be the perfect example of her forgetting what her life was? It's as if she drank from the river of 'Lethe' and had undergone an 'Oblivious' trip in her head? I won't know, and I won't bother. I just need to move on and meet better friends that would serve me well in life...

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Torn between Nemesis and Lethe (1)


This post is known to have a slight amount of explicit content. Reading discretion is adviced..thank you

Yes yes, I may have gotten the idea of this title from Trivium's song 'Torn Between Scylla and Charybdis'. But I'm kinda relating Greek mythology with a few stories of mine with this title. So, yeah. :)

is (nm-ss)
n. pl. nem·e·ses (-sz)
1. A source of harm or ruin: Uncritical trust is my nemesis.
2. Retributive justice in its execution or outcome: To follow the proposed course of action is to invite nemesis.
3. An opponent that cannot be beaten or overcome.
4. One that inflicts retribution or vengeance.
5. Nemesis Greek Mythology The goddess of retributive justice or vengeance.

In life, there's always an enemy that we'll encounter that would well might be our worst. It could be about the most horrible person you've met, the most terrifying experience, or it could well be a certain type of 'self-hate' in ourselves that it could let us end up in suicide.

But on a personal note, I'm relating this definition towards this person I used to have a strong hatred to. This person could be well described as the most; Malicious, two-faced, manipulative, hypocritical son of a bitch I've ever met in my life. *apologies for the language* In the end, he was considered my own personal 'Nemesis'. Let's refer him as a 'Parasite'

For starters, we used to work in the same hotel industry as butlers. The way we got the job was through his uncle, who was one of the head directors of the hotel. When we started out fresh during our first week of the job, there was one event which took place on one of the days within that week. We were having a morning brief with our supervisor on one of the days during that week. And I kept telling myself,"No matter what, I'll be better than this asshole at anytime!". A little bit of ego there, but it was my only way of realizing that I have to believe in myself, no matter what shit comes in my way..

My supervisor gave me a good feedback on my working performance, till he told this 'Parasite' ,"You know, you could try and learn as much from Cheah." But of course I didn't allow my supervisor to say that, upfront showing my humility as I could've lowered his (parasite) self-esteem if I allowed my supervisor to say such things. Since then the 'Parasite' had gone competitive with me on the job, until he felt needed to prove to people what he was capable of just because he wanted to match up with me. I was being told about this by my colleague. Which explains why he chooses to ignore me whenever I try to talk to him or ask him about work. But, I just rose up to the challenge and just be healthy sport and try to do better than him in many ways as I could. If I'm defeated in certain things that he has flair for, I would accept my defeat.

Although there times where my own personal successes didn't suffice and he was under skyrocketing towards his own successes, I couldn't let the feeling of 'envy' get to me. I know that it can slowly kill me one day. I just learned to stick to what I am good at just to get by, up to a point where the world doesn't matter. My only issue was that I never liked the fact the person I hated so much was doing slightly better than me after our days in the hotel industry. But nevertheless, I choose to build my own successes and confidence, instead of whining and pining over this matter.

The situation between the both of us had gotten worse when he started talking behind my back to other people. I didn't see the need for him to do that, but that's when I decided to walk away from the 'Parasite' and let his own hatred eat him up badly. Now I heard he has weight on his shoulder because of something stupid that he did. I would take this as his bad karma and what was shown were his true colours. At least I now know that he only knows how to live his life with full of escapism with the recreation of his own hatred and guilt.

*next post would be in relation to Lethe, stay tuned*

Thursday, June 10, 2010

How 'NOT' To Destroy Angels

I just took a listen to Trent Reznor's latest work and to be honest....I'm not very impressed with it, no matter how much I love Nine Inch Nails. This could probably be one of his works of downfall (No offense to any NIN fans out there). His side project 'How To Destroy Angels' , which consists of band members featuring; Trent Reznor (himself), Mariqueen Maandig (his wife) and Atticus Ross (producer and programmer for Nine Inch Nails).

First, I'll get down with the things I like from the EP album of 'How To Destroy Angels'. By truth, when I listened to the songs, the distorted beats and synthesizers gave me an immediate shower of ideas that it sounds like Nine Inch Nails, only with a female vocalist singing. The haunting reverb on the pianos just sends chills down my spine, the messy (but creative) Synth effects, end up being groovy riffs and loads of percussion-like beats to keep up the musics' intensity. All that makes it sound like, well...Nine Inch Nails.

Now I'll get down to business and tell you about the things that I don't like about the EP. To me, Mariqueen's vocals sound as if she was mumbling or whispering, mostly throughout the whole song called 'The Space In Between'. Sounded as if the instrument tracks were almost masking her voice or something during the Verse of the song. That, in my humble opinion. I just wish that Trent's vocals were also featured in the EP, I bet it would make a great blend into the songs. Well, it's only the EP album so far. I'll wait for the full-length album to be released in the near future and we'll see how that goes.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Simple steps go a long way...

I was looking for some tips on screaming over the net, and I found this tip which was pretty hilarious but really useful.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010


Been really busy and uptight this semester. Nevertheless I know I've done my best to achieve whatever I wanted to achieve. Last week was a heavy experience for me, being able to mix 3 bands for a college Live Show and being Stage Manager on the same day was pretty much a first time for me. Not to mention, I was being evaluated at the same time! Yes, it was my practical exam for 'Sound Reinforcement' and I'm relieved that it's over now.

Terry, congratulations on winning last week's Friday Performance. May you perform at your best for this week's 'Final Friday Performance'. :)

I've come up to a point where I think my mind is at peace from whatever troubles I've faced. Whether if it's really controversial or not, screw that sh*t. Confidence boost aside, I think I may know my true potential and I shall grow with it. The fewer successes I've made(unexpectedly) this week made me felt as though I was dreaming, but I wasn't! Is this just the beginning for me to grow from here?

I try not to be too cynical about excelling in my performance, but to be more accepting, 'Come what may'. Nevertheless, I've got a long way ahead of me in this Audio Engineering line. And hoping to be as great of a producer/sound engineer as Trent Reznor himself. I shall not doubt myself with things I love doing, I should somehow find ways to escalate my repertoire in whatever interest I take in.

To whom it may concern;

P.S. : Keep growing your hatred and condemnation towards someone and you may see yourself with a bloated face and several pimples in the mirror :)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The unproductive,

I've done basically nothing for this whole mid term break except to sit my butt down and practice guitar. Play-play-play, till I think I've gotten calluses on my fingers. But that shouldn't bother me. I kinda figured out what my bad playing habit was. It was the problem of getting too tensed while playing. Normally my fingers would loosen up after a half-an-hour warm up session, before I start working on my chops. That's how rough I was.

Till recently, I read some guitar tips via online about alternate picking. I'm sure you guitarists know what 'Alternate picking' is, I would not go into detail with that. One of the tips explained that I had to relax my left-hand fingers. Which true enough, I only bothered about playing faster, and my left hand fingers got screwed because I wasn't relaxed. Which explains a lot of the mistakes I've made in the past which I did not notice before. With that in mind, I decided to lower my Amp's 'Gain' and Guitar 'Tone' knob a little and practice my licks till I've become accustomed to what I think I did was right. I never made regular adjustments on my Amp for these few days because my focus was on my technique. Soon after, I only ended up controlling my guitar 'Tone' knob and my 'Gain' knob on the amp. Honestly, I was too lazy to even hook up my Boss Overdrive pedal to give out some occasional boosts.

I never really had a good bond with my Ibanez because of my struggle with getting used to it until recently. Being with a guitar and playing it is like a 'Husband & Wife' situation. If you argue with the Wife, the Wife would either listen to you, or defy you until she can drive you up against the wall like a mad man. Those things happened on certain days since I first owned my Ibanez. Sometimes, when your fingers don't feel right..both you and the guitar would end up blaming each other. Sometimes, you'll treasure the guitar because you got to achieve the riff or lick you've been working on. Playing guitar to me is like talking to it. When I get to familiarize with the feel of the neck and fretboard, the more predictable it is on how I can apply my techniques correctly in place on the guitar. It's like getting to know your guitar better in a 'Personal' sense. I'm not even sure whether it's the right word, but who cares.

I went to look up on 'Steve Vai' videos and tried to observe his way of playing. True enough, his fingers can get really fast and yet so smooth. It was as if his fingers were gliding over the fretboard rather than running all over it. After that, I tried playing some 'Funk' and a bit of 'Blues'. And I think I knew how I could get to develop that technique. It was the ' feel'. Though, the term 'feel' is a personal perception to a person, because it has many meanings when it comes to 'feel'. I can't explain to you my kind of 'feel' but the 'feel' is there.

What would be the next step in my journey of guitar learning? Time will tell.

Steve Vai-Tender Surrender

Awesome stuff

This video of Steve Vai featuring Orianthi is awesome...

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Kiri sute Gomen

'Kirisute Gomen

The phrase "Kirisute Gomen" is of Japanese origin. It means literally, "exemption to cut down and cast aside" a member of the lower orders who has failed to show a member of the samurai military caste proper respect.

In a metaphorical sense
, I'd like to relate and apply the meaning of the two Japanese Kanji characters generally towards people and situations that I've encountered and dealt with before.

Sometimes we tend to think some of our friends do not meet our expectations, such as being; reliable, caring, considerate or even understanding enough. However, it take two hands to clap right? So, what happens if we don't have friends who don't know how to reciprocate? Do we start feeling sorry for them for not knowing better and going through their life like "blurred sotongs".

I apologise in advance for this one for offering what amounts to an unsympathetic apology." (Kiri sute Gomen)

What else can we do? Do we:

(a) Try to influence the person and give him/her the time to learn to be a good friend?


(b) Leave him be and despise him? i.e.
"exemption to cut down and cast aside"

Everyone wants to be respected and to be valued, but many of us also forget that 'respect' has to be earned as well rather than to be demanded, or that it is not always given out willingly. For some people, their ways of gaining respect and seeking to be valued is by only doing favors for friends for some people is by only doing favors for friends. They hold their willingness out so obviously but instead of sending out the signals that they can be trusted, they are actually begging to be taken advantage of. I think it's utter bullshit and can be a double whammer because you're not always respected for your 'reliable, caring, considerate and understanding' behavior, but likely you be made use of the person's puppet instead. Whether the person willing to return the deed back to you as well is besides the point.

From a personal experience, I used to have this good friend of mine from secondary school. We always hung out as true Malaysians regardless of race. Till there was a time he felt uncomfortable with me because I do not carry a religious faith around my neck. He kept trying to convince me to walk his religious path and because I resisted , we stopped talking for almost a year. Does that mean, that my goodness as a friend doesn't count if my faith isn't in sync with his faith? *pfft* It is his bloody loss!

Recently, I was hanging out with some friends at a Starbucks. Suddenly, I saw him and his girlfriend at the counter, ordering drinks. After that, they found a place to sit at quite a distance from where I was sitting. At the corner of my eye, I saw him trying to analyze my whole figure and appearance. It was either he recognized me or he was giving me a hard contemptuous look. But for whatever it was, I approached his table and greeted him. There was a certain awkward moment between him and I at that time.

As expected,wes ended up as total strangers.
I didn't get the good old vibe I had with this person 2 years ago. After the small talks, he told his girlfriend that I was a good friend of his (He never called me for more than a year, you call that friendship?). And continued, by saying that I got good musical taste. (Urrm yeah, and he discriminates against my kind of music because he thinks it's satanic).


So, the question I still consider him a friend?

"I apologize in advance for striking you down"-Kirisute Gomen

Anyhow, these are just personal thoughts of mine..

He who walks the fire breathes
Unlike the rest
Living by the bloody creed
Kirisute gomen
Air of battle tasting stale
Reeks of deceit
Send the bitter straight to hell
Kirisute gomen
In their wretched guts all they want is to feed
Unending, covetous hunger known as greed
As the last legion makes it's way to the skies
I can see in their eyes
They've already died
Inside, but as for the outside
I'll take their fucking heads
Quake has bred with the storm
Conceiving war
Wicked stampeding hordes
Kirisute gomen
I will never be what they
Want me to
I live by my own path in life
No turning
Back now, I won't be held down
Forced into a shallow grave built upon their empty ways
There's no turning back
There's hell to pay, such disarray
A bloodied mess, flesh masquerade
With all the blood making a flood
You made your path by crossing us
He who spits the fire seethes
All he detests
Decapitating, bloody creed
Kirisute gomen

Sunday, February 14, 2010

A message from me

Here's a special message from me...Happy Chinese New Year/Happy Valentine's day!!!

Friday, February 05, 2010

They don't really care about us+All the right moves

Somehow, I found this pretty interesting. I was listening to the radio on one fine day and One Republic's 'All The Right Moves' was playing. I found the song kinda similar with Michael Jackson's 'They Don't Really Care About Us'. Probably because of the way the both songs had some slight familiar elements , like the arrangements and such IMHO...this is what I think.

One Republic-All the right moves

Michael Jackson-They don't really care about us

*Constructive criticisms are welcome*

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

One more time!

Been a while since I last posted something. Well, I needed a break anyways. Anyhow, this year is gonna be my last semester in college and I want to get it over with ASAP...and embrace the new world....the working world. This year, I wanna experience new things, grow out of my misery and disappointments, endured in regards to last years hectic events. And yes..earn more money. Money has always been my no.1 priority. No two ways about it.

Who knows, maybe one day I'll be able to invest in a land or something. Or, build a company that has not come to my mind yet. Time is ahead of me, the road is long as well. I think I won't 'jump into the wagon' with those plans now. Of course, there would be times where I'll have my break downs sand aggravations regarding my failed attempts on whatever I wanted to achieve. Nevertheless, who said the world was fair? It has never been. Time, place and people can change the route of your destination. I kept asking myself,"I can control me. But why are these 3 things affecting part of my status as an ambitious person (badly)?" Is it because that it was my nature to be placed in this kind of current status in my life? Or is it because I've been nurtured to have my own mind set to be different from alot of people that follow the conventional in terms of; Lifestyle, values, interests and etc.

You know, the kind of people who think that homosexual can be more accepting into society of all age ranges, the kind of people who gives tons of excuses why they lack cash in their pocket like describing themselves as 'Compulsive Buyers' rather than 'Smart Buyers'. But, why would I care..its their matter anyways. Sometimes I feel as though I've gone onto the wrong track, but I do not regret whether if it was the right or wrong path that I walk. It may seem like justification. But at some point, I realized that I have my own 'Conceptual Framework' .

But, this is the world that we live in. The world as I see it today; we live in a world with hypocrisy. Here's why. Back in the days when Michael Jackson was accused of being a perverted-pedophilia child abuser that people claimed he was. When he passed away, people around the world started to worship him like some 'God' and claim remarks like,"Oh, Michael was a pop icon of our time and he inspired us all. His music will live inside us for years to come." Now, what makes out of them accusers? One word, 'Hypocrites'. And the fire starters were the media anyways in 1993.

Ask yourself, why are we even on Earth in the first place? To go through hardship to help us become stronger? Or, to only live in comfort of the lessons in philosophy and religion for so-called truth alone? That means little to me, because it makes life very limiting. To me, it's about expanding my own exposure in whatever is around my environment. What is life for you?